I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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