Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
