ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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