ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
