My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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