it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
