once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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