My room smells like vodka and shame
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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