Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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