And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
