Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
