is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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