Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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