She said her name was "party"
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
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