hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
