it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Let's get the cat blown out
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
