We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
