There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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