I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
