I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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