I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
