Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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