im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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