A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
