what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
barbara walters just said penis...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Life without a bra equals bliss.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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