He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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