I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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