9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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