Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
