Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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