Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
