He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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