so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
