It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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