The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
