no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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