i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
