I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
