Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
