Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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