fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
