and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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