I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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