he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
