The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
honey bunches of taint.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
