Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
