Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
