just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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