I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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