Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
